Sound view on marriage after weaning
Author: Ivan Ho 7 Sept 2019
When will you finally be weaned from breast feeding?
When a person grows up, he or she typically goes through certain stages of changes, weaning being one of them. The bible tells us that new believers who have just become born again are likened to newly born babies who can only take milk for food.
Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.
I Peter 2:1-3
And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?
I Corinthians 3:1-3
Some new born babies in Christ are still carnal who can only be fed with milk but not solid food because their hearts and minds are still being influenced by the world more than they are changed by the word of God.
Marriage made in heaven
Another stage of maturity takes place when a person grows up and leaves his or her parents after marriage to become a husband or wife. When a person does not want to leave his parents, he cannot be joined with his wife. Marriage is originally designed by God who sets a man and a woman to be joined together and become one flesh.
Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
In some cultures or religions, people practice polygamy and, in recent times, even same sex marriages are permitted by law. Although in these countries, such marital practices are made legal, they are illegal in the kingdom of God because they violate God’s original intention for marriage and therefore not blessed by God. As believers become mature in Christ, one of the most important things they need to come to terms with is God’s kingdom pattern and purpose for marriage so that they can enjoy real blessings from God.
In the garden of Eden, satan came between Adam and Eve and tempted the woman to disobey the command of God she received from her husband. As a result of man’s rebellion against God, the perfect relationship between man and God was damaged. Today, the devil is still using the same tactics to try to entice people to depart from the foundational principles of the word of God, in particular in the divine pattern for marriage. When marriages are no longer founded on Christ and divine principles, not only does it have the inevitable consequence of man turning away from God and His word, the harmonious relationships within families are also greatly damaged, leading to all kinds of problems in the society.
In some cultures, for example, the married couple still dwell together with their parents in the same household, a practice which not only compromises God’s original command for marriage, it more often than not causes unnecessary tensions between the husband and wife. When a person still maintains a strong soul tie with his or her parents after marriage, the person’s oneness with his or her spouse would inevitably be compromised. When that happens, it is like a grown up person who still behaves like a milk sucking baby.
On the other hand, a lot of people nowadays get into marriage for the sake of marriage. They tend to think that, once they get married, they would become independent, and they would find happiness. So many try all kinds of avenues in their search for life partners: engaging matchmakers, going to bars, using social media and online matchmaking websites and so forth. Some are so obsessed with the idea of marriage that they just end up marrying whoever comes along the way. Their ideas of marriage are simply to find someone to attach to, or someone who would milk feed them and take care of them for the rest of their lives. However, the idea of transfer of dependency on one’s parents to one’s spouse isn’t the purpose of marriage as God intends. If that was the ultimate purpose, one might as well marry a nanny!
When Christ comes to us, not only does He come to restore our relationship with God, He also wants to restore in us a sound biblical understanding on marriage.
In the beginning, it was God who designed marriage for man. Not only did God defined the principles of marriage, He made it possible by creating the woman out of man, when He took a rib from Adam’s body and created Eve.
In the Chinese word for flesh 「肉」, it is a combination of two words: 「內」 inside, and 「人」 person. The woman wasn’t from outer space, she was a person inside「內人」the man.
So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
When God joins a man and a woman together in marriage, the purpose for them has to be more than the basic needs of milk feeding. When God created Adam, He gave the man a divine mandate, knowing that man needed a suitable helper to stand alongside him to accomplish God’s kingdom purpose together on earth.
People who do not understand the word of God and self centred individuals would not understand the truth that marriage is God’s design. Most believers would accept that God is a matchmaker who puts two otherwise strangers together in marriage. It is not a coincidence when a man meets a woman who end up marrying each other. As believers, we don’t have to go outside of God to look for a partner. As we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, in His set time God will bring two persons together to meet, leading to marriage. God gives us the freewill to choose our life partners but the best choice has already been made in heaven.
But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ ; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”