Divine pattern in marriage
by Ivan Ho 23 May 2025
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
The woman wasn’t an after thought so that before Adam was created, God already had Eve in mind. In God’s design and order in creation, the man was created first, then his wife was created from the rib taken from the man. The wife was designed to stay by the side of the man she marries rather than to be independent, or to usurb the leadership role of her husband. It is the divine pattern for the woman to stay close to and follow the leadship of her husband. If we want to follow God, we need to stay close to Him. One cannot follow another from a distance.
The world doesn’t care about divine order so they have all kinds of chaos in gender roles. Wives who don’t want to submit to their husbands usually have independent lives and want their husbands to follow them instead. Such behavioral pattern is often displayed even before marriage with the woman dictating the terms of the man who wants to pursue her.
But the women who are in Christ should know better. Unfortunately, Biblical roles between husbands and wives are often not being taught in churches. Because godly principles of marriage are not being taught, people are learning from the ways of the world or from Hollywood. As a result, men and women who attend churches are behaving just like the people in the world. Usually, couples who have decided to get married are asked to attend pre-marital counseling classes. It’s like the cake is already being baked before one is given the cookbook to read.
I don’t know what they teach in pre-marital counseling for I’ve never been to any. Most if not all my understanding of divine patterns for marriage comes from reading the bible and teaching by the Holy Spirit.